I don’t have 20/20 Vision, but…

I’ve never been much one for New Years for various reasons over the years. When I was a kid it was cool. As a teen it was still cool but I don’t recall really doing anything apart from watching the NYE show in New York on tv with my Mom. Then things just got depressing after she passed. When I moved to England it seemed to get even more depressing. Instead of looking forward to what the new year may have in store for me, I was always looking back thinking “There’s another year wasted being overweight. Another year wasted being unhappy, being away from my friends & family. Another year wasted not having done this, not having done that, not, not…”

This time however, I’m actually quite positive. I’ve actually felt FESTIVE and was excited about Christmas. We’re not doing much tonight, my son and I are just going out for dinner than chill in front of the tv. Tomorrow we’re going to the cinema to see JoJo Rabbit at a preview screening.

Sure, every year is unpredictable, time will always have it’s challenges to overcome and I know I have a few coming my way but I refuse to dwell on negativity anymore. Yes, there are a few things that really worry me, especially financially but I have a great full time job, I have my cat sitting ‘side hustle’ for a little extra income…I’ll be okay. One day my lottery numbers have to come up, right? Karma and all that jazz, hehe.

I believe 2020 will finally be MY year. I’m going into it having lost 18.5lbs in 14 weeks, more independent and self sufficient than I’ve ever been and with a kick ass haircut. Another bucket-list item will be ticked off when I see Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act LIVE in London this summer. And of course, I’ll be going back to California which I love…imagine that, an East Coast gal loving the West Coast. I just feel good and I like feeling good and being positive. I’ve missed the happy me and I’m glad she’s back in full force. Hopefully she’ll be sticking around for a good while. You have to put happiness and positivity out there into the Universe to get it back.

Have you noticed, when you’re in a bad mood for whatever reason, every little thing makes you even more mad? Everyone is a jerk, every other driver is a prick…I know that’s how I work. We all get mad, that’s just human nature. But I challenge you in 2020, rather than sitting in that madness and letting it grow, say “F You!” to whatever it is, forget it and move on with a smile. It’s not always easy, I KNOW, but believe me, you’ll feel better and won’t have ruined a full day due to a 10 second event at 8.15am because you’ve dwelled on it.

Do I do New Year’s Resolutions? Let’s put it this way…My goal in 2020 is to accomplish the goals of 2019 which I should’ve done in 2018 because I promised I’d do them in 2017 and planned them back in 2016…so…no, not really LOL I’m just going to keep on with what I’m doing which is trying to lose weight, trying to be a better person, try to budget my finances better but one thing I need to promise to do, is take days off work when it’s my week with my son and he’s got the week off school. I’m such a bad planner so he’d be at my flat (he’s a teenager, not a child-child) and I’d be at work. So that’s one thing I do want to improve for sure, planning ahead for him better. Even if it’s just one (hopefully two) days a week during his half-term weeks with me so we can hang out and do things.

So…all my best to you and yours for 2020.

Published by tararenee13

That's me on the left and this is a little blog for when I just want to share things but it's a bit more than a Facebook post. An online journal of random thoughts if you will.

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